Thoughts

LIVING BY ONE OF THE BEATLES ... SORT OF
While we were in escrow for our house, everybody kept telling us how legendary musician and former Beatle great Paul McCartney lived a few houses down. Yes, the house was big, but there's no way it could be his place, could it? We asked the owner if he had ever seen him walking around outside? He nodded. Had he seen his wife? Yes, all the time. He also added that many nights, you can hear him playing guitar, but not to the point where it disturbs you (after all, the owner was still trying to sell his house at the time!).
Well, after visiting the house a few times, we decided it couldn't be McCartney because (1) why would he live in Glendale?; (2) even if he decided to live in Glendale, he surely would be up in the million dollar homes at the top of the hill; and (3) why is there a Toyota 4Runner parked in the front. Can't he afford any better?
Well, now we know the truth. The man who lives in the house is a guitarist who toured many times with McCartney and other famous acts. And many nights, he does jam on his guitar, but not to the point where it becomes a nuisance (just like the owner said).
Tonight, I'm manning the BBQ grill (in preparation for Saturday) and hearing some sweet guitar licks from a few houses down.
Who needs a radio when you have "Paul McCartney" to serenade you?

TRANSITIONS
One huge thing that I've been learning about over the last several years is transitions. For me, many of the transitions I have undergone have come very swiftly. One day, I'm here, the next, *poof* I'm gone. And most of them were transitions that I never even saw coming. I'm a man who is not too fond of change. If you're a friend of mine, I pretty much expect us to be friends for a lifetime. If I'm fond of a certain type of food, chances are good that I'll still love that food when I'm having to put my dentures in just to eat it! But I have undergone more transitions in the last five years than I have probably in my entire life.
Over these last five years, transitions have changed me ... quickly, and most times for the better. God usually opens a door for me ... and pushes me through it. For example, I never thought I'd be leaving UCLA and all of a sudden, I find myself working for Kaiser for almost six months already. And it wasn't that long ago that I didn't even have a girlfriend. And now, I'm married and living in my own home.
Sometimes, however, transitions can be bad. Like when the former Dodgers' owner Peter O'Malley was forced to turn his back on decades of ownership (his father owned the team) and sell it to commercial juggernaut Rupert Murdoch and his Fox Corp. Next thing you know, Mike Piazza is traded, the loyalty is gone, the tradition is no more, and the "Dodger way" is a thing of the past. Just like that. I see that type of thing happening in a certain area of my life too, just not to that extent.
How does this make me feel? It forces me to trust, all the more, in God's soverign plan because anything can happen ... at any time.

THE SATURN IS NO MORE
A little over 10 years ago, my entire family spent a day at the Saturn dealership in Alhambra looking at all the cars that new start-up had designed. We were impressed with their plastic dent-resistant doors and their price tag. After much decision-making (and no haggling because that was always their policy) and a forced cheer with the entire staff there "I say, I say, I say Saturn!!!!", I drove off the lot with a brand new beautiful white Saturn SL-1.
Over the next ten years, that car took me everywhere from summer jobs to the beach to UCLA to restaurants to Dodger games to Mount St. Mary's, etc. And it drove my family, school friends, church friends, girlfriends, even strangers (One time I saw a woman and her baby crying hysterically at the Montebello Town Center and gave her a ride to the police station, where I guess the cops had taken her husband).
So many memories from that car are still fresh in my head, even after I got my Maxima and passed the Saturn onto my dad.
But a few weeks ago, my dad was involved in a car accident (not his fault) which ripped off the rear bumper, fender, and shashed the right rear door (I guess they're dent-resistant, but not crush-resistant!). After getting estimates and having a body shop assess the work, they decided that they would have to consider the car "totaled" because the cost of repairs exceeded the cost of the car.
Both my dad and I were devastated. He will be shopping for a new car, maybe a Toyota Corolla.
Meanwhile, I'm disappointed I didn't get to say goodbye to my first car. Do I have an emotional attachment to the car I named "Dude"? You bet I do. Dude served me well and he will surely be missed.

DINNER WITH DANETTE AND RICHARD
I feel like I haven't sat down to blog in a long time. (Sorry, I got side-tracked for a second.) Karena and I were so privileged to be invited to have dinner along with Michael at Danette and Richard's place. I've been to their place a few times, but somehow this time, watching Richard cooking, and Danette being a great hostess, it just felt more "homey." Richard is an excellent cook. Plus, the presentation was good. Afterward, we had a good talk about marriage, Koinonia (everybodys' favorite topic), and whether to have kids in the future. That turned out to be a good thing because afterward, Karena and I had our first real conversation about it. (For now, I'll just leave it at that. More conversations are necessary.)

THE OVERTIME MAN
I think I've become the overtime man. We're having a little shortage of people at work so they asked if I could work a half day today (I'm usually off on Tuesdays). Since we didn't anything planned (aside from doing weeds or cleaning the house), I decided to do it. I don't mind taking one for the team. Besides, I figured half a day ain't too bad.
But the bad part was that when my supervisor asked, he pretty much expected me to say "yes." And then, the day turned out to not be half a day, but a full day. In fact, I worked until 5:00pm. And then, I have to do it again next week and again for "half a day."
I guess I'll be working until midnight!

SUNDAY NIGHT BBQ
We had a little BBQ to celebrate Reuel's birthday. The highlight of the evening was not the large quantity of good food (and it was GOOD!). Nor was it all the laughs we shared (and we did share a lot of laughs!). The highlight was when I was throwing around the football with Karena and accidentally hit her in the forehead.
I think she's still mad at me for that one.
Of course, I would be too if my forehead still said "Wilson" one day later. =)
Sorry, wifey.

DINNER
We had dinner with Mark and Gina Saturday night and tried out this Italian place that's literally right down the street from our place. From the outside, the place looks like a warehouse. But in the inside, the place looks much nicer, but the decorations were a little weird. There was a fountain in the middle, but they had weird Christmas balls hanging from the roof and they kept turning the lights on and off as if they couldn't decide which to do. They DID have live piano music playing. The food was decent. So overall, I'd give this place a B. Maybe a B-, but that's just because it was Italian food -- aka, very expensive and not much food.
Afterward, we hung out in the house and watched Star Wars: Episode II and Rocky II. I have to admit that Rocky II won hands down in the head-to-head competition.

THOUGHTS FROM TODAY
For personal and professional reasons, I can't go into detail, but here are some of my thoughts in response to today's happenings:
1. Passing the test is just one of those things that you assume will happen. But when you fail, all hell breaks loose. People are left to scramble and you are left feeling disgraced while you try to pick up the pieces. But seriously, what does NOT passing a test mean? Absolutely nothing!!! I will pray for you, friend.
2. Have you ever talked to somebody and felt like you were talking to yourself 7 years ago because they are in the same situation you were in? Or how about 5 years ago? I had both experiences recently and I was disappointed that I didn't have better advice to give. Looking back, it's amazing I ever made it out of those situations. But at times, I still struggle. I will pray for you also, friends.
3. Sometimes you just have to shut up and face the music. When you do wrong, you always should just admit it instead of denying and getting defensive. Today, I chose poorly and may have to suffer the rest of my life. Hopefully, I can mend things on Monday, but I know it'll never be the same. Burning bridges is a bad idea.

DODGERS VS. DIAMONDBACKS
Thanks to one of Karena's patients, Mike, Rani, Karena and I got to sit about 20 rows back of first base to watch the Dodgers duke it out with the Arizona Diamondbacks. Some highlights were eating Super Dodger Dogs, fries, and nachos, listening to our complimentary Viva Los Dodgers Latin Music CD, watching Dodgers manager Jim Tracy get thrown out of the game, seeing about 20 Latin Music CDs get thrown onto the field after the Dodgers blew the game.
It was fun getting to catch up with Michael too. All in all, a nice evening at the ballpark.

THOUGHTS ON ...
Marriage
I have to admit that the whole experience has been good for me. It's really opened my eyes as to just how selfish and lazy I can be sometimes. This marriage thing is all about love, teamwork, communication, and dedication. And I have to admit that the calls of relaxing ion front of the TV are sometimes more appealing than the calls of my wife. But I've been working on it. I'm so lucky that she's very understanding of me, but I am hoping to improve my husband qualities nonetheless.
Random Questions
Would you rather live to 90 and have the body or the mind of a 30 year old? Karena and I both answered "the body" not because we're vain, but because we're already in so much physical pain as it is that having to endure even more for 60 more years would just be tortuous.
If you had the option of having that truly perfect romance but that person would die after one year, would you still do it?
Karena and I also both said "yes." My reasoning is because I agree that it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. You have to throw your heart out there and be vulnerable, even if you end up getting hurt in the end. (Wow, I'm so cheesy).

A MARKED MAN
I usually put my pens in my lab coat pocket. And a lot of the time, I forget to put the cap on the pen so there are a gazillion pen marks on my lab coat. But hey, that's no big deal because after all, the lab coat is like an apron -- it takes all the spills so that my clothes don't.
However, I have learned the hard way that my lab coat pocket has a huge hole at the bottom of it. After going through my entire day of work today, I discovered, to my dismay, that I had at least a few hundred pen marks on the side upper leg portion of my pants as a result of an uncapped pen sticking out of the hole in my pocket.
That left me feeling stupid and messy.

DINNER FOR TWO
Karena and I had the rare opportunity to go out on a date ... just the two of us. We went to one of our favorite places, ClaimJumper. Usually when you go there on a Saturday night, you end up having to wait at least half an hour to an hour. So, when they gave me the little pager thing and told me it'd be about 30-35 minutes, it didn't even bother us. We went to sit outside and were prepared to wait. But about 30-35 seconds later, the pager went off. I thought it was surely a mistake. But the next thing we knew, there we were getting seated and ordering our food. It was amazing!
We ate hearty and had some good conversation. And in the end, isn't that what marriage is all about? (Well, except she doens't want me to eat too hearty! =)

PRE-REUNION REUNION
Although it IS true that I am not going to my 10-year high school reunion tonight, I did manage to see everybody last night at a pre-reunion reunion at Gordon Biersch in Old Town Pasadena.
I was grateful for Karena for coming on a night when she would know virtually nobody and I was grateful for people in Koinonia, who let us show up late and leave early, but still be able to worship God with them. I have to say that was one of the best 25 minutes I've ever spent!
Anyway, it was SO nice to see everybody again, some of whom I have not seen in literally 10 years. Some got heavier, some got older, some got better looking, but all were still very warm and friendly towards me, as if the 10 year time frame was more like 10 minutes. After sitting there a while, it really was like we were back in 1993. We spent a lot of time talking to Enoch, which was nice too.
But I think the best moment of last night was when my friend Ryan, who I've known since 3rd grade but have sort of grown apart lately, still came right up to me to shake my hand and give me a guy hug. He was genuinely happy to see me again and I appreciated that because the feeling was mutual. In fact, I really, truly did have that feeling when I saw all my high school friends.
Plus, it felt good knowing that I got to see almost everyone I wanted to see without having to fork out $130 tonight!

SEPT. 11
It's been two years now and I have to admit that I woke up this morning and didn't really think about it. But somehow, all that emotion came back to me today while I had to write the date over and over on my charts. Two patients mentioned to me that they knew people who were working there that fateful day and had lost their lives. It is true that we will never forget.
Tonight, I didn't listen to the radio or watch any of the news stories about how America is remembering tonight. No, instead, I just sat there in the quietness of my own heart, and was reminded that God is still soverign and in control.

AN AWFUL DAY
Yesterday afternoon, Karena and I went to downtown to see about getting her engagement ring fixed. One of the prongs had become loose and we wanted them to tighten it so we wouldn't lose the diamond. After a few attempts at fixing it, the setter ended up bending the whole thing completely to one side. I mean, the diamond was nowhere near the center anymore! So, we argued with the manager there and ended up not getting it fixed because she was too upset at us, even though it was her fault. Imagine that, they make the mistake and they end up being mad at us!
Meanwhile, I had left to go put more money in the meter, only to find that my car was gone. I freaked out! My beloved car had been stolen! I ran all over, making sure that is where I parked it, but after deciding that that was the place where I parked it, I realized that the parking sign said "No parking from 3-7pm." I quickly called number and was referred to another number, who referred me to yet another number. Finally, I got news: Yes, my car had been ticketed and towed away. We had only parked there for less then an hour, and amazingly enough, right at 3pm.
We had to get a taxi, find the stupid place, and pay hundreds of dollars just to get the car back. Now, we have to pay for the parking ticket too.
It was unbelieveable, but after being rather upset about the whole thing, I decided that I just had to suck it up, pay the money, and move on.
Meanwhile, later that night, there we were again, cutting up grocery store coupons in our attempts to save 75 cents here, 50 cents there. Hmm, it just seems like two steps forward, three steps back.

JUDY GARLAND PART II
Here's my last thought on that show I saw Sunday night: Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. were stars of their era. And that meant they had they songs played on the radio, they performed many live shows everywhere from Las Vegas to New York, and were in multiple movies. That was the type of stars that generation had.
So why don't we have stars like that in our generation today? Let's face it, we have people who try to be those type of three-dimentional stars, but they all fail. Can you imagine putting Whitney Houston, Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey or even Will Smith or Ice Cube or Eminem in the esteemed company of Garland, Sinatra and friends? No way.
I've decided our values for entertainment have changed. We have so much media coverage now that people don't have to do multiple things to become stars. Shoot, even bands with one hit wonders are considered celebrities nowadays.
Just goes to show that Hollywood is an ever-changing place.

SONGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
A patient of mine always talks about how he goes to see all these shows, plays, musicals, etc. I asked him about it because he had more of a life than I did. He said his secret was that his wife gets free tickets to all these things. After talking to him about it more, he offered to give us some sometime. I thought it was a nice gesture, but really, I could do without them since Karena and I are always so busy as it is. But that day, his wife left a message for us about a play that she had tickets for. Since then, he has offered a few times, but I've always said no. So, this last time, I felt obligated to say yes.
So, last night, Karena and I, along with my parents, went to the Canon Theatre in Beverly Hills to see Judy Garland's daughter Lorna Luft in "Songs My Mother Taught Me." Basically, she sang many of her mother's most famous songs (of which I only knew 3).
The highoight of the evening for me was when they showed Judy Garland on a screen singing and her daughter joined her in a duet. It was very touching, reminiscent of Nat "King" Cole and Natalie Cole's "Unforgettable." It's like Bobby Bonds hitting a home run together with his son Barry.
Do I feel more cultured today? Slightly. But maybe that's because I watched the original "Rocky" the night before. Man, now THAT'S a movie!!!

CINESPACE
In honor of Greg Go's birthday, we gathered in Hollywood at CineSpace. I have to admit that I was intrigued by the place, especially after looking at the website. It was a good concept -- a restaurant/bar/club not so much focused on music, but on movies. I had to go check it out.
When we got to Hollywood, the place was packed. We tried to do the Chinese thing first by finding parking on the street, but our efforts were futile. We ended up having to pack $10 for some pretty shady valet parking. (Hmm, I should go check if all my change is still there.) Anyway, we were only at CineSpace for an hour because the place was pretty disappointing. They were showing "Raising Arizona," but it was already over by the time we got there. The place had loud music that wasn't very good, and there was no room to dance. Basically, you were left to drink and yell. I managed to do both, but after an hour, it just wasn't enjoyable for us so we took off.
Still, I'm glad we went to experience it and to celebrate Grego's birthday. But I don't think we'd go again.

CALIFORNIA RECALL
If there's one lesson I've learned while growing up, it's this: Don't ever talk about politics in public. It only leads to trouble, even for a pretty middle of the road/try not to ruffle any feathers guy like me. Usually when a patient brings something up, I end up saying something non-committal so they can express their opinion. Then, I just agree with them for the sake of agreeing so that we end up having no problems in our therapist-patient relationship. I wouldn't want a patient not to get better or to harbor any ill will toward me as a result of some political argument.
But, here are my two cents on the recall: I can't stand Gray Davis, but the recall does cost quite a bit of money, and I'm wondering if it's worth it in the end. Arnold is running a pretty sad campaign because he is not taking a stand on anything. He's relying on people who just don't want to vote for a typical politician. But, of course, the guy I'm leaning toward isn't much better, but he may be my pick: Peter Ueberroth.

STRANGE FEELING
I sometimes have to go up into the hospital to see patients. One of my patients today was a woman who had just given birth to her new child and developed some pain, which required her to use a walker to walk. So, my job was to make sure she was safe with it before going home. Her baby was so beautiful. Have you ever seen a newborn baby? They are simply amazing.
Anyway, so obviously, I had to go see her in the Obstetrics/Gynecology wing. Anyway, while I was charting, I suddenly began to feel uncomfortable.
Was it the large number of new mothers around? No.
The smell of dirty diapers? Nope.
Those things were there, but that wasn't it.
Instead, it was the 16 (no exaggeration here) full-length posters of mothers breastfeeding their babies to show how easy and good it is. Now, I am all for breastfeeding (good for the babies, a special, tender moment for the mothers, etc.). But do I need to be surrounded by 16 of these reminders while I'm charting?
Let's just say that I have never written faster.

10 YEAR REUNION
After much debating with my friends and with myself, I've decided NOT to go to my high school 10 year reunion and here's why:
1. It's waaaaaaaay too expensive for what I'm getting. $65/person just for the Pasadena Sheraton? C'mon. Karena and I can think of a million better ways to spend $130.
2. Only a few of my friends are able to go. I'd really be more excited about going if more of my friends were going to be there. But since many of them won't, neither will I.
3. I practically just came from a high school reunion, also known as my wedding. Amazingly enough, I managed to get a lot of my good friends from high school together for the wedding. It was such a blast seeing them.
4. I'd only be going for two reasons: a) to hear/see the latest gossip about people I knew in H.S. and b) to show off my beautiful wife. And the truth is, I can do both elsewhere for free.

WEEKEND IN REVIEW
Since I normally have Tuesdays off, this long weekend is extra long for me. And thank God too, because I really needed it. I have been looking forward to this Labor Day weekend for such a long time.
Originally, we had planned to go to Summer Conference. Then, we decided to go up north with my family to see Sandra and Gabe's new home. But those plans fell through too so we ended up staying here and just spending time cleaning up the house and having dinner with our families. Sandra and Gabe came down and we got to watch their wedding video. We had two dinners with my family and two with Karena's (including tonight's BBQ).
What have a learned from this weekend? Four days is good, but no time is really enough time to get everything done that you had planned. But that's okay because I feel rested and I put a major dent into the things I have to get done.
Of course, when I get up to go to work tomorrow, I'll still think, "Oh man, I tired! I need a few days off!"