Friday, December 14, 2007
AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE
When I was younger, the sky was the limit. I could have become a doctor, a lawyer, an NBA player, a teacher, anything. I could have married a beautiful woman and live in a beautiful house (Thankfully, this one came true!). I could have been or done nearly anything because I felt like anything was possible. I had my whole life ahead of me and things were going great.
But at this point in my life, I feel that things are changing. Although, in the grand scheme of things, I'm still young, I'm beginning to feel like the sky is no longer the limit. So far, I would say that my life has not quite turned out as I would have planned. And there's just too many things affecting my life that are out of my control. And that's left me feeling helpless.
.
Granted, I have been thoroughly blessed beyond more than I could have ever imagined. Still, I find myself not dreaming big anymore and no longer hoping/expecting good things to happen now. I guess that's just my protective mechanism so I don't get disappointed anymore.
Maybe I'm just not as naive as I used to be. Or maybe I've just become cynical about life. But I find myself getting disappointed and feeling a sense of loss more and more often over the last 10 years.
Perhaps I'm just being greedy and should be happy with the many blessings I already have in life -- great wife, great family, stable job, good friends, etc. After all, in this season of Advent, I've really focused on the excitement of the coming of Christ and of having joy and peace that only He can bring. Or maybe my expectations about life are too high.
In either case, I find myself sadly let down that I'm no longer dreaming.
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Your entry reminds me of Moses. As a prince in Egypt, he had the greatest possibilities before him. He could've done anything. But then, as a shepherd (for 40 years), I'm pretty sure he was disappointed in his life... I doubt he ever planned to be a lowly shepherd. Yet, being the prince of Egypt and a lowly shepherd were all part of God's plans so that he would be aptly prepared to confront the Pharaoh and to lead the Israelites through the exodus.
Even when we stop "dreaming big," God still "dreams big" for us. He has plans for us beyond our comprehension. He has done more in our lives than we realize.
Even when we stop "dreaming big," God still "dreams big" for us. He has plans for us beyond our comprehension. He has done more in our lives than we realize.
Hey Vic.
You should read "The Journey of Desire" by John Eldridge (who also wrote "Wild At Heart" -- one of Jason's favorite, according to his blog profile!). I think you'd really empathize and perhaps also be revitalized.
Bless you.
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You should read "The Journey of Desire" by John Eldridge (who also wrote "Wild At Heart" -- one of Jason's favorite, according to his blog profile!). I think you'd really empathize and perhaps also be revitalized.
Bless you.
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