Saturday, February 12, 2005
THE MYSTERY PACKAGE
I walked outside into the dark, rainy night to take out the trash. Karena had been sleeping on and off since I got home from work so we didn't get to discuss the day's events. Suddenly, I noticed a Fed Ex package on the floor of our backyard. "Why didn't Karena throw that box out? Maybe she got the package and forgot," I thought to myself. As I picked it up, I realized it had something inside. It was addressed to me from an address I didn't recognize in Montrose.
I quickly began to open the box, but it was pretty hard to open. While I was prying away at it, thoughts of the Unabomber and anthrax began to fill my mind. I started thinking about who I'd call and how I'd get to the hospital if something like that happened. The Fed Ex box contained a beautifully wrapped gift, complete with ribbon and my name on it. Hmm ... secret admirer? (I can't believe I even thought that for a second!)
As I opened the box, I saw tissue paper neatly wrapped like when you open a shirt neatly wrapped in a box. Hmmm ... clothes from a secret admirer in Montrose? (Again, I must have a wild imagination to still be thinking that!).
And finally, as I pulled the tissue paper away, I saw my fate. No bomb. No anthrax. No shirt. Just some stupid realty company's attempt to get me to sell my house with them. Enclosed in the box was a brochure for their company with a SOLD sign that had a post-it saying: "We want to put this SOLD sign in front of your house."
Then, I took the box, walked back out to the trash can, and promptly threw it out.
I walked outside into the dark, rainy night to take out the trash. Karena had been sleeping on and off since I got home from work so we didn't get to discuss the day's events. Suddenly, I noticed a Fed Ex package on the floor of our backyard. "Why didn't Karena throw that box out? Maybe she got the package and forgot," I thought to myself. As I picked it up, I realized it had something inside. It was addressed to me from an address I didn't recognize in Montrose.
I quickly began to open the box, but it was pretty hard to open. While I was prying away at it, thoughts of the Unabomber and anthrax began to fill my mind. I started thinking about who I'd call and how I'd get to the hospital if something like that happened. The Fed Ex box contained a beautifully wrapped gift, complete with ribbon and my name on it. Hmm ... secret admirer? (I can't believe I even thought that for a second!)
As I opened the box, I saw tissue paper neatly wrapped like when you open a shirt neatly wrapped in a box. Hmmm ... clothes from a secret admirer in Montrose? (Again, I must have a wild imagination to still be thinking that!).
And finally, as I pulled the tissue paper away, I saw my fate. No bomb. No anthrax. No shirt. Just some stupid realty company's attempt to get me to sell my house with them. Enclosed in the box was a brochure for their company with a SOLD sign that had a post-it saying: "We want to put this SOLD sign in front of your house."
Then, I took the box, walked back out to the trash can, and promptly threw it out.
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