Thursday, September 30, 2004
LIFE (PART III OF III)
You want the truth about MY life? Well, here it is.
I'm not so thrilled all the time about my job, but it's give me something to do during the week. I wish I didn't have to get up so early and stay out for so long of the day. I'd much rather hang out at home.
I've been a little bummed overall these past few weeks because of circumstances out of my control. What makes me feel better? Unfortunately, I have to admit that it's watching TV or movies I've seen over and over. I love reading the newspaper. I love occassionally spouting off on this blog site like I'm doing now. I REALLY love spending time with Karena and with family and friends. Feeling needed and important is good for me too.
I like to watch SportsCenter. I like watching old Law & Order, especially the ones with Angie Harmon.
Each day, I pray that God will use me. And yet somehow, I end up acting no different than anybody else. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I complain. I need to take a nap during lunch. And I can't wait to clock out and go home. I can't wait until Thanksgiving (the next holiday).
My back and left leg (nerve pain from my back) hurt constantly ... every day. I slouch. I don't take care of myself. I'm walking bad advertising for my own profession and my own skills. "Do as I say, not as I do", I'll tell my patients jokingly. But hey, who's joking?
I try to love people. I try to be there for my wife. I try to be there for my family. I try to be there for my friends. But hey, I'm only one man. And it's tough. I have a heart for people. Lately, it's been for Michelle Cherng and Nathan Cheung, who are new to Koinonia and in my small group. I want to help them during this new phase in their lives, to ensure they don't get lost in the abyss that is post-college life. But hey, I already feel stretched too thing. So, it ends up just being good intentions. And I've learned that the road of good intentions doesn't lead to anywhere.
I'm not depressed right now and nothing happened to me that made me write all this down. This is just one man, who's not perfect, but trying every day to get it right.
So, I'll keep putting on my nicest clothes to look good. I'll keep showing up 5 minutes early to work to get myself ready. I'll keep going through life, even if it doesn't make sense.
You want the truth about MY life? Well, here it is.
I'm not so thrilled all the time about my job, but it's give me something to do during the week. I wish I didn't have to get up so early and stay out for so long of the day. I'd much rather hang out at home.
I've been a little bummed overall these past few weeks because of circumstances out of my control. What makes me feel better? Unfortunately, I have to admit that it's watching TV or movies I've seen over and over. I love reading the newspaper. I love occassionally spouting off on this blog site like I'm doing now. I REALLY love spending time with Karena and with family and friends. Feeling needed and important is good for me too.
I like to watch SportsCenter. I like watching old Law & Order, especially the ones with Angie Harmon.
Each day, I pray that God will use me. And yet somehow, I end up acting no different than anybody else. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I complain. I need to take a nap during lunch. And I can't wait to clock out and go home. I can't wait until Thanksgiving (the next holiday).
My back and left leg (nerve pain from my back) hurt constantly ... every day. I slouch. I don't take care of myself. I'm walking bad advertising for my own profession and my own skills. "Do as I say, not as I do", I'll tell my patients jokingly. But hey, who's joking?
I try to love people. I try to be there for my wife. I try to be there for my family. I try to be there for my friends. But hey, I'm only one man. And it's tough. I have a heart for people. Lately, it's been for Michelle Cherng and Nathan Cheung, who are new to Koinonia and in my small group. I want to help them during this new phase in their lives, to ensure they don't get lost in the abyss that is post-college life. But hey, I already feel stretched too thing. So, it ends up just being good intentions. And I've learned that the road of good intentions doesn't lead to anywhere.
I'm not depressed right now and nothing happened to me that made me write all this down. This is just one man, who's not perfect, but trying every day to get it right.
So, I'll keep putting on my nicest clothes to look good. I'll keep showing up 5 minutes early to work to get myself ready. I'll keep going through life, even if it doesn't make sense.
"But there's more to this life
Than living and dying
More than just trying to make it through the day
More to this life
More than these eyes alone can see
And there's more than this life
Alone can be."
- "More To This Life", Steven Curtis Chapman
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