Saturday, June 26, 2004
WINNERS AND LOSERS
My name may be Victor, but I don't often feel like one. One big struggle I always have is in my confidence level. Would I ever be able to make the big shot? No chance. I usually don't even want to be near the ball at a time like that. Will I be able to fix the broken thing in our house, make the right decision, or say the right thing at the right time? Hardly ever. You know what's going through my head while leading worship? "Uh oh! That tough C#m chord is coming up. Better not screw it up!" (And then I usually do.) Whenever I am in charge of anything (whether work or church), my head is always spinning with whether people are enjoying themselves or getting anything out of it.
I know these thoughts are wrong, but I can't seem to escape them. They haunt me. They keep me from achieving dreams and accomplishing goals.
I was reading this article last week about Oakland A's pitcher Barry Zito who believes strongly in mind over matter. He said, "Basically everything we do is determined by what goes on in our heads. The only person who ever stops me from achieving something is me." I don't agree with most of what Barry Zito says (he's weird, plays for a team I despise, and he's from USC), but on this one, I couldn't agree more.
I think if I had more confidence in myself, I could achieve more. But then again, there is also a fine line between trusting in God and believing in yourself. However, where that line lies is still a mystery to me.
All I know is with a little more confidence, I might be a man better suited for my name. (More on this tomorrow)
My name may be Victor, but I don't often feel like one. One big struggle I always have is in my confidence level. Would I ever be able to make the big shot? No chance. I usually don't even want to be near the ball at a time like that. Will I be able to fix the broken thing in our house, make the right decision, or say the right thing at the right time? Hardly ever. You know what's going through my head while leading worship? "Uh oh! That tough C#m chord is coming up. Better not screw it up!" (And then I usually do.) Whenever I am in charge of anything (whether work or church), my head is always spinning with whether people are enjoying themselves or getting anything out of it.
I know these thoughts are wrong, but I can't seem to escape them. They haunt me. They keep me from achieving dreams and accomplishing goals.
I was reading this article last week about Oakland A's pitcher Barry Zito who believes strongly in mind over matter. He said, "Basically everything we do is determined by what goes on in our heads. The only person who ever stops me from achieving something is me." I don't agree with most of what Barry Zito says (he's weird, plays for a team I despise, and he's from USC), but on this one, I couldn't agree more.
I think if I had more confidence in myself, I could achieve more. But then again, there is also a fine line between trusting in God and believing in yourself. However, where that line lies is still a mystery to me.
All I know is with a little more confidence, I might be a man better suited for my name. (More on this tomorrow)
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