Sunday, July 06, 2003
GETTING UPSET AT MYSELF
It was a difficult decision and one that I almost made. Today, I was supposed to help serve communion. That meant I had to dress up in a suit. But because Karena and I were up late preparing to have our families over for a BBQ, I forgot all about it. So, the minute I arrived, I freaked out and was so upset at myself.
Why? Because I expect better from myself. I had to get a replacement and everything went smoothly. But I was very disappointed in myself. So disappointed that I didn't even want to take communion because my heart was in the wrong place. I barely listened to the sermon, I barely sang a word. I basically just sat there, disgusted with myself.
And then, I came to this conclusion: I think I'm having a little trouble adapting to the rigorous schedule of married life. I definitely enjoy it, but when you're having to balance your time between working, doing laundry, pulling weeds, entertaing your family over for dinner, planning a house warming party (still in the works), and still hanging out with people, it becomes a little overwhelming at times. I think Karena has done a great job at smoothly transitioning into the wife role. But I tend to be a slow transition person and it's just taking me a little longer than I had hoped.
Hopefully, my level of responsibility (or irresponsibility, as the case may be) improves soon.
It was a difficult decision and one that I almost made. Today, I was supposed to help serve communion. That meant I had to dress up in a suit. But because Karena and I were up late preparing to have our families over for a BBQ, I forgot all about it. So, the minute I arrived, I freaked out and was so upset at myself.
Why? Because I expect better from myself. I had to get a replacement and everything went smoothly. But I was very disappointed in myself. So disappointed that I didn't even want to take communion because my heart was in the wrong place. I barely listened to the sermon, I barely sang a word. I basically just sat there, disgusted with myself.
And then, I came to this conclusion: I think I'm having a little trouble adapting to the rigorous schedule of married life. I definitely enjoy it, but when you're having to balance your time between working, doing laundry, pulling weeds, entertaing your family over for dinner, planning a house warming party (still in the works), and still hanging out with people, it becomes a little overwhelming at times. I think Karena has done a great job at smoothly transitioning into the wife role. But I tend to be a slow transition person and it's just taking me a little longer than I had hoped.
Hopefully, my level of responsibility (or irresponsibility, as the case may be) improves soon.
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