Saturday, November 30, 2002
REFLECTIONS OF THE FAMILY/PARENTING
It's strange how it becomes more difficult to spend quality time with the family as you get older. And I'm not just talking about time-wise either. Sure, life gets busier as you get older and you have less time to meet together for family dinners and even for holidays. But I've noticed that I've become a little less social and a little more hesitant to spend a lot of time with the family. Maybe it's because my grandmother always tells me about 3 times how fat I am now and how I need to lose weight. Maybe it's because some of my uncles' hearing is starting to go so they all need to yell at each other just to communicate.
I think a part of it is that I'm becoming much more set in my ways. And to see my parents do things that I would never do or say things that I wouldn't say becomes a challenge for me. I've become so fixated on what I think proper social behavior is that when I see them deviate from it, I get nervous or almost embarassed. And I hate to feel that way.
That's why I've always said that parenting is the most thankless job in the whole world. I mean, these two people bend over backwards for you and raise you to the best of their ability from the days when you were COMPLETELY dependent on them all the way until you get older and start to push them away because you think you know better. How dare us for thinking such nonsense! But here I am, thinking those very thoughts: I could do better than this, etc. How ridiculous have I become? The truth is that my parents have done very well for themselves -- moving from another country to start literally from scratch to having a family, a home, being financially sound, learning a new language, getting a solid job, etc. What have I done but sit on my lazy butt and take the free handouts they've given me for 26 years! Shame on ME for thinking I could do better. Instead, I should be using this Thanksgiving weekend to say thank you to my parents for giving me a good example. I just hope I will be even half the husband my dad is and half as good a parent to my future kids as my parents were to me, Raymond, and Sandra. If I could do that, I'd be happy.
It's strange how it becomes more difficult to spend quality time with the family as you get older. And I'm not just talking about time-wise either. Sure, life gets busier as you get older and you have less time to meet together for family dinners and even for holidays. But I've noticed that I've become a little less social and a little more hesitant to spend a lot of time with the family. Maybe it's because my grandmother always tells me about 3 times how fat I am now and how I need to lose weight. Maybe it's because some of my uncles' hearing is starting to go so they all need to yell at each other just to communicate.
I think a part of it is that I'm becoming much more set in my ways. And to see my parents do things that I would never do or say things that I wouldn't say becomes a challenge for me. I've become so fixated on what I think proper social behavior is that when I see them deviate from it, I get nervous or almost embarassed. And I hate to feel that way.
That's why I've always said that parenting is the most thankless job in the whole world. I mean, these two people bend over backwards for you and raise you to the best of their ability from the days when you were COMPLETELY dependent on them all the way until you get older and start to push them away because you think you know better. How dare us for thinking such nonsense! But here I am, thinking those very thoughts: I could do better than this, etc. How ridiculous have I become? The truth is that my parents have done very well for themselves -- moving from another country to start literally from scratch to having a family, a home, being financially sound, learning a new language, getting a solid job, etc. What have I done but sit on my lazy butt and take the free handouts they've given me for 26 years! Shame on ME for thinking I could do better. Instead, I should be using this Thanksgiving weekend to say thank you to my parents for giving me a good example. I just hope I will be even half the husband my dad is and half as good a parent to my future kids as my parents were to me, Raymond, and Sandra. If I could do that, I'd be happy.
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