Saturday, August 03, 2002
THE ONLY THING TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF
I had dinner with Dewey last night and openly shared about my fears and struggles over being Koinonia core chair. And I shared something similar in our small group time as well. I think now that my "job" is starting, I have more responsibilities placed on me and that's bringing out all my insecurities about myself. I'm pretty scared to screw this up because I value Koinonia so much and I think there's definite pressure I'm putting on myself to see that people within Koi grow closer to God and to each other. But then again, I knew I would have to tackle these issues head on when I decided to do this, so this should come as no surprise. In fact, I thought this would help develop and hone my leadership skills -- important, indispensible qualities I must have as a soon-to-be husband.
But I am so glad He's placed some really good people around me. Dewey was very reassuring and supportive. And Reuel was quick to point out I'm more afraid of the title than the actual task because these are things I had already been doing. And I had never felt comfort almost literally pour over me as much as I did when Reuel, Steven, and Victoria prayed for me.
FDR was right, maybe the only thing to fear is fear itself. And I should just go out there and get the job done.
I had dinner with Dewey last night and openly shared about my fears and struggles over being Koinonia core chair. And I shared something similar in our small group time as well. I think now that my "job" is starting, I have more responsibilities placed on me and that's bringing out all my insecurities about myself. I'm pretty scared to screw this up because I value Koinonia so much and I think there's definite pressure I'm putting on myself to see that people within Koi grow closer to God and to each other. But then again, I knew I would have to tackle these issues head on when I decided to do this, so this should come as no surprise. In fact, I thought this would help develop and hone my leadership skills -- important, indispensible qualities I must have as a soon-to-be husband.
But I am so glad He's placed some really good people around me. Dewey was very reassuring and supportive. And Reuel was quick to point out I'm more afraid of the title than the actual task because these are things I had already been doing. And I had never felt comfort almost literally pour over me as much as I did when Reuel, Steven, and Victoria prayed for me.
FDR was right, maybe the only thing to fear is fear itself. And I should just go out there and get the job done.
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